i want to hate. once.
give it a hard try to hate. hating is my last choice in a mission to kick someone out from my life. i means, kicking the memories, not the physical person. i remind myself, 'i hate you'. everyday. hoping, i can really hate you and forget all the good things we had. by time, it never works. i put all negative thinking about you in my mind, still it never works. i say to myself, 'lets throw all about him aside'. the next day i'm moving to new room, i only bring along the bear you gave me, leaving behind the other three.
yes, i am not a lady who stick to her words. i always lose to my own ego. i promise to myself, i'll never hear anything from you. i tell the others not to mention you before me. not even a week, there i go being stupid texting you, being stupid looking at your sosial network to see how thing's going on with you. dumb by own desires, is totally me. please dont trust me when i say anything relate to you.
guess hating is not a better choice. but what had been said, can never be reversed. if it is meant God still want us to be bestfriend, we will forever be. if not, a better plan is waiting ahead. in a mean time, just go with the flow. and girl, stop bothering that person.
*listen to percaya padaku by ungu*
"i am not angel-hearted young lady, so hating is possible for me"
.. i hope i still have the chance to see you holding the wallet.