Jealous and trust.

It's either you get jealous or you're over it.

Just finish the last episode of Awkward in my keep. Not the final episode, but the last episode I retrieved from Ev. This time, Jenna talked about trust.

It makes me to conclude 1 thing. Trust without jealousy is bad. Jealousy itself is enough to be labelled as bad. Trust that stands by its own is bad as &E#*$#@#

Then, when you rebalance the trust and the jealousy, it creates harmony. Harmony of the relationship. Sounds sweet aite? Good to agree.

I have bad relationship because I'm freaky jealous of my own partner. But, after years, I did evolved. Being with 'him', I change the jealousy into trust. It takes me some effort but I did. Then the problem came. Evolution can never be easy if your man never support you. Trust me. So dear gentleman, please support your lady.

However, not having even 1% of jealousy is a bit something somewhere wrong in there. I see that as why-should-I-care thingy. Which means, you're over it. You don't care, and you're don't even bother to know.

Please have a good weekend dearie. I'm gonna enjoy mine without any regrets !

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Berubah?

People might told you, "Berubahlah awak". Told you once or told you twice. CHANGE, CHANGE & CHANGE.

Some people, they think changing is easy. Phewwww. Changing can be easy in some circumstances, some might be hard.

I just wish you're there helping me to change. But nahh, guess you're just too busy by your own. Might had thought, what's the point of holding on, if your love one never be there to help you to stand? Or atleast support you so the change you want to do will be easier.

Ignorance.

Frankly to say, I want to change. Deeply want. Because I want to be the best for us. But, well, 'strong' is not yet to define me. I'm still not affordable to do it by myself. So, I guess I'll just back off. Maybe that's what you want me to do. Back off.

Please take a good care of yourself. Will always love you babe..

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I believe and I love

I believe differences shouldn't be a major problem. 

Football can never be my top list favourite, but you are the craziest bout football.

Spend the night at home is what I preferably do, but you play futsal almost every night.

Stay home on weekend is what I always want to do, but you go for soccer the whole weekend.

Texting the one I adore is what I love to do, but you are not the texting person.

Spicy food is another I'm avoiding, but you love the spicy one.

Shisha smoke might kill my nose, but you are a shisha addicted.

Be home early when tomorrow is working day, but you can stay all night long hanging outside.

I am easy to pissed off and say harsh stuffs, but you always come back to me.

Above all, I still wanna love you till God say "Enough for both of you". =')

And I believe, when you want to love someone, you will stick together, never counting all the differences or opposition as the obstacles.

And I wish you'll be the same. ^.^

*Aku tak kan minta pada Tuhan untuk dibagi seseorang yang punya banyak persamaan. Cukup sekadar yang sedap mata memandang, dan tenang hati bila difikirkan. *wink*

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Bored you.

Long time ago, so called 'gentlemen' complaint of my life. Katanya, "Sampai mati aku takkan lupa sal orang desperate dengan pet, blablabla". Oh, terima kasih la sebab ingat aku sampai mati. Terharu (?)

Then, dia cakap lagi, "Sian, obese gila dengan pet, lonely gile sampai mati". Eh? HA HA HA HA HA HA

Obese or obses?

Oh, ada lagi dia cakap. "Obses dgn binatang smpai xdpt nk enjoy kehidupan sebenar. Lama sgt lonely agk nya."

Well, atleast me being lonely, I dont go playing around with somebody's heart then enjoying my life by breaking theirs . You most probably getting bored with your own life that you messed up with mine. I mean, whatis  it that the talk bout my cat can ever intrude your life? My cat is definitely never fuck with your life right?

You can just unfollow my twitter or unfriend my fb. The power is within your hand to press the button. Or you just want me to press it? I AM MORE THAN PLEASED TO DO SO. Thanks alot for the 'compliment'.

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Regret

There is one single thing that I regret each day I'm breathing. With the wonder will God forgive me ever. Yet, I still linger around it whenever the chance comes.

Sin.

Dosa.

Siapa yang tak pernah berdosa? *bunyi macam lirik lagu* Sesuatu yang berat untuk diperkatakan. But don't ever stop seeking forgiveness and repent. 

Give me strong heart to chase away the evil desire. Give me high patient to face the trial. 

Tanpa sedar, aku dah gagal dalam setiap ujian yang Dia bagi. 

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