cry for someone we never meet..what is the feeling actually??..

do you ever think of crying for someone that you never meet before??..sound weird right but that happens tp me recently..2 weeks ago,we(me and family) went to order this one cemetry cross..that one was for my very '1st' late brother..actually i knew i had another brother when my dad past away 6 years ago..the day we went to order new cross,my mum told me about him..the feeling deep inside was hardly described..

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100 questions i have today...

> 100.WHAT'S YOUR PROFILE SONG? WHY?
~~permintaan hati by letto..
> 99.DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
~~no..hanging out at home jer..
> 98.LAST CALL ON YOUR TELEPHONE?
~~ermm..who is it??..owhh,bro last brother at labuan..hehe
> 97.DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
~~yup and it hurts me to like him
> 96.LIE IN THE LAST 24 HRS?
~~about linguaphone..hehe..shhhhhuu~~
> 95.DO YOU PLAY A GAME?
~~yup..in d' lptp..right now installing counter strike;condition zero..but ram not enough to play it..wuuuwuuu
> 94. WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU SAW> YOUR LOVED ONES?
~~at dining room..juz now.hihii
> 93.WHAT ARE YOU EATING?
~~nasi with fillet masak sos..juz a simple meal today..
> 92.WHO/WHAT MAKES YOU MAD?
~~betraying by certain people..ermm juz forget about it..
> 91.WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE WHEN YOU> GROW UP?
~~family!!..husband n kids..haha
> 90.WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
~~sadeline vateria anak badar
> 89.WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR HAIR?
~~black but now it seem like a lil bit brown..sunlight effect i guess..aihhh
> 88.DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND OF THE> OPPOSITE SEX YOU ALWAYS HANG WITH?
~~hang with??..no,dont have close friends of opposite sex.
> 87.DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?
~~of course la..include me,there are 6 of us..^_^..
> 86.WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
~~at sweetie-sweetie-home..
> 85.WHAT FUN THING DID YOU DO LAST WEEKEND?
~~ermm..not at all..wait,i think i had one..kne tinggal ngn ktm at kl central..d'ohh..haha..
> 84.DID YOU DO ANYTHING TODAY?
~~on9 n on9...n kiss my baby..=P
> 83.ARE YOU HAPPY?
~~happy??...have no birdy feeling right now..just neutral feel..
> 82.WHO IS SITTING TO YOUR LEFT, RIGHT> NOW?
~~left:kerusi sofa..right:tikar..far right:my mum n 1st brother..
> 81.WHERE IS YOUR DAD RIGHT NOW?
~~dad???...past away 7 yrs ago..=/
> 80.DO YOU HAVE ANY BAND CD?
~~band cd??..never have one..
> 79.WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON ON YOUR INBOX?
~~in hp:fatin..in email:facebook..
> 78.CLOSEST BLACK OBJECT
~~mouse..n astro decoder..
> 77.DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
~~only in lecture hall..silau problem..
> 76.DO YOU HAVE A NECKLACE?
~~yup..as a sign im a christian..haha..people always misunderstand me as a malay n gave strange look in bulan ramadan when i had lunch b4..
> 75.DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
~~noooo....im just daydreaming.~~hahahaha
> 73.DO YOU OWN ANY PETS?
~~never since 5 yrs ago...
> 68.WHAT SONG DO YOU HEAR NOW?
~~tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah by merpati band..this song puts me in sway mode..
> 65.WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
~~tshirt of my last rumah sukan n short..
> 64.LAST PERSON TO COMMENT YOU?
~~in fs:ns..in facebook:fatin..
> 63.DO YOU SING?
~~no,im a bad singer..=P
> 62.PAST OR PRESENT LOVE?
~~in the future..=P
> 61.ROCK OR RAP?
~~neither
> 59.WHO DID YOU LAST CALL?
~~ermmm...my uncle..
> 58.WHO LAST TEXTED YOU?
~~fatin..+___+
> 57.WHAT'S INSIDE YOUR RIGHT POCKET IN> YOUR SHORT?
~~nothing..it's empty..
> 54.WOULD YOU DIE FOR SOMEONE?
~~dont think so..but family,yes!
> 53.LATEST THING YOU'VE RECENTLY CRIED ABOUT?
~~him....coz it hurt me so much...
> 52.ARE YOU JEALOUS NOW?
~~nope..im fine with him dating another girl..Y,peach
> 51.WHAT DO YOU SMELL?
~~ermm..nothing smelly here..
> 50.IS ANYTHING BOTHERING YOU RIGHT> NOW?
~~yes!!..linguaphone,s***** thing i ever do this year
> 48.WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TOMORROW?
~~tomorrow??...dont have plan yet..
> 47.WHAT DID YOU EAT FORBREAKFAST?
~~just a cup of coffee..my mum special coffee,no others like hers..^^
> 46.LUNCH?
~~rice,fish fillet n cabagge..
> 45.Dinner?
~~dont know yet for tonight...depends with the cookers...
> 42.CAN YOU CLIMB A TREE?
~~errrr..xtau la..xkot,lme dh x panjat pokok..
> 37.FAVORITE NUMBERS? WHY?
~~5..just like it..
> 35.DO YOU AGREE THAT 1ST LOVE NEVER> DIES?
~~never...dont believe in 1st love things..
> 32. JEANS OR SWEATPANTS?
~~dont like jeans for sure..
> 31.WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?
~~be his gf..haha..kidding laa...meet sum1 nice kowt..
> 30.ARE YOU GONNA DO IT?
~~let god decides it for me..klo ad jodoh ad la kot..
> 29.DO YOU HAVE SOCKS ON?
~~no..i wear it when i put my shoe on..
> 28.DO YOU OWN BIG SUNGLASSES?
~~never..but i took photo with it twice..
> 27.HAVE YOU EVER CRIED IN FRONT OF> YOUR LOVED ONES?
~~ermm..yup,in front of beloved family..
> 26.WHERE DO YOU GO EVERY MORNING?
~~kitchen...bathroom..
> 23.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
~~ ermmm..my own name kot..hehe
> 19.TV SHOW?
~~not a favourite at all..seldom watching tv lately..
> 18.DO YOU LIKE 80'S MUSIC?
~~a couple of band only..i like bee gees n beatles..^_^//
> 11.CAN YOU LICK YOUR TOE?
~~eeiiuuuu..never..never wish for it either..
> 10.BEEN IN AN OPPOSITE SEX RELATIONSHIP?
~~had a bf once..lots of friendship in this past few years..
> 9.BEEN TO COLLEGE?
~~in university right now..
> 8.WHAT IS YOUR HANDPHONE MODEL??
~~sony ericsson..
> 7.FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY?
~~night...kot..
> 6.FAVORITE DRAMA?
~~wulan..bez gak cte indon nie..haha
> 5.FAVORITE COLORS?
~~red n black..but lately always buy blue color things..
> 4.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
~~ntah..everyday seems the same..
> 3.WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO
~~a new bf,the special one..hahahah
> 2.ARE YOU IN YOUR LOVED ONES' HEART?
~~no...so pity me...ermm..in my mum maybe..
>1.WHO IS YOUR LOVE
~~family!!! n friends...love everyone in the world..

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loneliness makes us think~~

haluuu..hehe,im all alone now at home..mum went to kebun already..so it's my turn now for doing all home things..juz now finish my laundry and sweeping..=)..after this, i have to cook for lunch..ermmm..have any suggestion on meal??..ill think about that later la hoh..haha..

about 20 min later...

my sister come back from work(lunch time).. hehe..i just thought to fry this cute fishes in the frige when i see these 'kolok mee'..nyum,nyum..so no cooking for today..hehe..and the 'ikan terubuk panggang' that we bought yesterday also not finish yet,just heat it back la..so lets have lunch!!!..wanna lunch together??..masak sendiri ler..haha..

kolok mee x sedap..huhu,pity me..=(..

ok,back to the topic..loneliness makes us think,isnt it??...why i say it that way is,yo la im alone at home since morning until evening and become temporary housewife at the moment..huhu..but what the main point here is that when we're alone,we start to think of something from the past,right?...moreover,at that time you dont know what you wanna do since there are no more exam and no more class of course...i have this one stupid event happen to me just 2 days before my last exam-eng paper..i've been betrayed..yup,being BETRAYED by my own friends(think it back of course la by friends,have you ever being betrayed by strangers???ermm)..it's a lil' bit hurting,im telling you..wanna know how the things going on??..ermmm..lets see..i like this one guy..i chatted with him along that study week and im quite depressed with my own feeling(what the small thing deep inside..hhe..)..so i told sum1 through ym all i feel toward the 'guy' i like without mentioning who that guy is..d'oh..then,i warned him not to mention what i told him to somebody else..guess what?...he told one of my friend, and god and myself know how my felt that time..it hurts and since that i would never trust him to keep my secret..at the same moment also,without i knew before this..actually the guy i like is on his way to tackle one gurl..a girl i never know for sure..once i know,omg..it hurts me badly...i knew about this from my close friend,thanks to her~sayang ko sgt2..hehe~..i wont lie ok, this thing distract me a lot..i cried in front of her(close friend,sorry cant mention her name here)..and there she started to persuade me and told me the possibilities of the guy i like with the girl he's going to tackle can be well going..ok,im fine with him tackling other girl but not with the fact that he betrayed me..hate him that time..

anyway,right now im ok and no more birdly feeling on him..i just wanna treat him as a friend..i like him since the 1st time i saw him,you know..until now but i never want to be more than a friend..because..i know that the relationship wont be lasting..heehe..paham2 la ek..so now,let us be friends!!..haha,mcm la die bce blog aku nie,keh2..ok la stop sign for my story..

so the main thing i wanna point out here is that..dont be all alone if you dont want to think something so stupid.haha..but sometimes loneliness is the best medicine i can have in solving my little problems..can call myself a solitude person,right??...loneliness also hurts us when things turn up side down..and at this time we need friends to support us,but..where did they go??..friends sometimes cannot be trust in certain cases..in certain cases,we have to take the risks in trusting them..because what are friends for,kn2??..and all the risks is our own responsible if anything comes up from it..cant blame them on everything which later goes wrong..

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sweetie home~~after fs gathering~

guess what???...im home now!!!. haha it feels great when it comes to home you know..even im not doing anything sound fun or what,but it just that i cant believe it im home now!!after 5 months at kl(since u registration). haha,im mumbling again here,isnt it??..well,im happy to see my mum is fine and my sist is happy with her husband..my brother,the 3rd one la..i dont know what to say about him lalala...he's having his interview with the shell later,not remember when but i think in this week..lets pray for him k,hope that he pass the interview and have a great job later,amin~~..


ermmm...owhh right,i mention before that ill talk about my classmate again right..not today la hoh,because...im still in my home-sweet-home mood so,lets talk about what is in my mind now..hehhe..


it's about last Saturday event..im having this one gathering and what special about it is im meeting with strangers that i never meet before..we're just 'talking' to each other in the Internet-in the friendster-chatting in this 1989 group discussion..im glad that this gathering finally comes up and end up fun..ye la im the 'ketua project' and im hoping before that everything will turn to something great and there it is..everyone is so so sporting especially ariz(he's a uia pj student from kelantan)..so does ieta,she's so easy going person..fatin,she's a lil' bit 'pendiam' and i know the reason..haha..it's ok la fatin but later,makes sure you open your mouth and talk more..ok??..who else??..ermm..owhh amad..he's my assistant..not official assistant actually..but it's great that it's him who help me a lot during managing the gathering..


so,the 1st one 1 met that day was ieta aka ice lemon tea..it seems that we have the chemistry when we saw each other for the 1st time..kinda weird la,heh..it likes she knew it was me and i knew it was her..the 2nd one came was fatin, we met in front of the kfc-our meeting place was the kfc in the kl central-only after that amad shown up and followed by ibnu,ariz with his friend,fadh aka cahaya kemulian and lastly zaffran-reason of late was 'tggu semut lintas jalan..ermm what a reason..




we're heading to mid valley after everyone came..i guess it's not a good timing since that 3 of us-me,fatin and amad were left behind..got too many people at ktm station..huh..next,we went directly to the food court at the lowest floor..time for lunch lorr..haha,im starving you know and so the others..actually,im planning us to play bowling or watch the movie..but..think it's not our luck..both place were full of people,it was Saturday after all..so, our last plan-window shopping..not bad la window shopping with someone that we never met before..it fun,seriously fun..we went to this pet wonderland(dont really its name but something with pets laa)..another than that were..ermm..owhh yaa we went to jusco..we spent most of our time there,looking at those stuff,clothes everything..haha,everyone was so funny..after that so-sweet-window-shopping,we had a small tea time at the food court on the highest floor(got the opposite place to feed ourselves,isnt it..huhu..)..after a lil' talk n about 1hour photo taking,we finally dismiss..and me,i took ktm to shaza's house with ieta went to sungai buloh-she parked her car there..i'm tired and my feet hurt(who ask me to wear that heel sandle..d'oh.)



well..thats all about what was going on before being at sweetie home..^_^..fuhh i take 2 days to finish this thing..haha,being lazy is just the real me..i guess ill spend more my time here,so dont get surprise to see so many post in one month..ok??..hihi

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1st day of holiday...

cant wait to be home..seriously..my flight is on sunday..arrgghhh..3 days left..cpt la masa berlalu..haha..deserve me right,it's me that choose that flight actually..

yesterday was my last paper for my 1st sem in ukm..eng paper..haha not bad..1st page of the text,i have my focus on it but in the end of 2nd page..aihh,my mind flew to something that i shud not think at that time..something that hurts me so badly..i tell you later la about that,=P..right now,im starting to be calm and tranquile..so lets start packing our stuffs!!..i dont know if we need to empty our room but i just leave my brg2 here..hehe,klo kne denda pdn la muke kte sume..

owhh..i wanna talk about my 1st final exam today..=)..ermmm..killer paper,i think i give that award to physioanatomy paper..eventhough biochem was scary but atleast we knew what inside..i means we read the past year paper before that..keh2 a lil' bit easy,i think..but for this physioanat,everyone is clueless(even after our dearest Dr KO gave the hints..lots of hints)..other paper-inorganic chem,organic chem,time management,etnics relation and eng..all of it is 8..owh 1 more,it's amali kimia(dont know what it is in eng,keh2..)..amali kimia was the 2nd easiest paper we have this time..the easiest one is..jeng2..what you think???..okla...it was etnics relation..im telling you this..the questions were all copy n paste from the past year papers..so phm2 la hoh..those who read the past year seriously,can score high i guess..ermm..

hey...wanna see my coursemate????..ermmm lets see if i can put their photo here..hehe..
i dont know if you have the interest to know who my classmates are but ill just talk about them here
and you just shut your mouth and read silently...ok??
1stly the girls..others than me(of course laa)..shaza,izni,syahira,lina,aya,shida,shima,salma,dila,zu,intan,fady,beh,hui yong,pei chen,lay ying and melody...the boys..din,ijat,faiz,karl,eddy,min,chee hau,hasnul,yoon ming,yong shiang and jen yew..
all of us is 29 but actually at 1st we're 30..sheela left after about 2 months we're together as course mate..she's now taking medic at non gov college at kedah..miss her soooooo much,wuuwuuu..(i always tell her my problem,so it's not easy at her early left..now im fine without her ehheh)..ermm..i have 5 coursemate that stay in same block floor..aras 4 blok f..lina,syira,izni,shaza n fady..you guys make my life brighter here in this block,ahakk..i dont know,seriously dont know what im going to do if they're not around..lina with her help in study,shaza as my next door neighbor with her 50cent coins,syira that always help massage me,izni who knocking my door with "mkn x??" question and fady the only one i can talk sarawakian language with,huhuu..at aras 2,it's dila(all alone..) and sheela stay at aras 1 before..

d'oh..it 530 already..im not finish my packing yet!!!!.aihhhh..so i guess i stop here..i let you know a lil' bit about my other coursemate later k..hehe..daaaa

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1st thing 1st...

ermm...my 1st blog..cant believe that i have 1 now..ahakz..
so..1stly,about me myself(eng is horrible actualy but still wanna use eng..hehe)
full name,sadeline vateria anak badar..rite now having u life at ukm n currently at ukm kl(bcoz 2nd yr we're moving 2 bangi,so no more ukm kl in next story..errmmm..)
mostly people just call me lin(i prefer to spell it as 'lyne' but...people always make it as simple as it can..aihh..)
im the last one in my family..so im quite 'manja' in expressing myself
which that i call it as 'gedik'..i dont know if my friends think as i did..ermmm..
i do love my friends but...hey,sometimes too loving your friends can kill yourself you know..
n i love my ways of living now as well
with dearest roommate hehe..it's aimi shamima(her name laa)
she's from perak..so nice that i never use 'aku ko' when i talk to her
she always have foods for me whenever i complaint of hunger
even we're not knowing each other well(it's orientation week when the 1st time she gave me megi cup..hehek)
ohoo..talk too much on her dah..jgn marah ek amy..hehe

so...that's me..not so detail but you can see what it is right..
and what im going to 'merepek' in my blog is what i have in my life from now on
~n hopefully can improve my eng as well..huhu..~
^_0

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