Don't look back with regret.

Never look back with regret. Look forward with hope. But, always, always, and always glance at your back for a better view for the greater future.

I was writing this one thing. Then I erase them. Cause I was thinking, talking bout useless past is definitely useless. Held your head high, and walk with pride.

I miss someone deeply. I wish I have this Doraemon pocket and use his magic door so I can stand in front of him. Then, I will travel again and hug her, her and her. Ouch ! I miss my Ashley !

I hope I can go back next week. Crossing my fingers tightly ! Cause MAS is offering RM2 for the seat !!! 

And let me share a thing with you guys. My dearest bestfriend, the only male bestfriend I ever have will have his posting at Sarawak, my home state. Which area, still unknown, but I wechat him said, "Minta minta awak dapat pedalaman yang tak ada internet dan line hp. Padan muka. Hahaha". 

Kejam? That's the point of having a bestfriend.

Tomorrow is final FA Cup between JDT and TRW. *Hope I spell everything right* Please take care of yourself while watching the live match. 

And you peeps, take care as well. Live your life well ya.

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Why bother fixing the broken mirror?

I have no idea the day I fell in love. Or it is actually not falling in love but just infatuation?

Well. Life never been easy to know.

There's a saying that said relationship is like the mirror. Once you break it, it can never be the same as before.

And because of that, I'm letting past to stay in past. Even the past is yet to reach its one month anniversary. If it was meant to be, I'm sure God had plan the best for us. The best preparation to face the life ahead. Thus, I decided not to fix what's broken, as the broken may reminds us our faulty. A faulty that makes us to be more careful and cautious.

"Tak seindah hiasan pertama"

Awak.

Awak sememangnya tak seindah yang pertama (read: budak yang tinggalkan aku macam sampah), kerana keindahan awak berganda dari dia. Untuk itu, saya sayang awak lebih !

By the way, kalau dah tinggalkan macam sampah, indah lagi ke? Bukan busuk dah? *Raised left eyebrow*

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My mixed day.

My day today started with a nice mood. Even the haze is getting worse. And worsen by evening. Went to work, with tonnes of files and documents, I still can manage to handle that you know. But when outsider seems to think they have the power on us and push us to do the work, that is never looked cool ok. 

My mood turned to be not in a good shape. 

My bos came to my workstation. And she asked, "How? What else you're waiting for?". I just giggled. Well bos, tonnes of works and I'm kinda malas. But I'l make sure to have a date with the doctor by tomorrow.

My sister also texted me the same thing. "Tanya doctor kalau boleh buat kat Kuching, lagi baik kalau boleh balik". I was actually like that idea. I can cuddle with Ashley then !

I left the office at 7. At home, I was thinking again about my sister's text. Wait, if I head back home, mostly it will be around fortnight time and who's going to take care of Silver?!

Screw me. Mr YNWA, I really need you. Damnly.

Or should I send her to my brother's? 

Non-stop workload made me as hungry as tiger. I thought to buy myself the dinner instead of own cooking. But, my colleague called and said she left her dinner under her desk and told me to bring them home. 

Rezeki yang tak disangka sangka aite..

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My night of dull life.

Today, I went to Bangi. Fixed some things, went to pasar malam and had dinner with my dear classmate. Bought this one nasi kerabu which was my favourite during my degree years. The nasi kerabu of my kegilaan. And I'm glad, it still taste the same. Happy.

On the way back home, I drove fast, slow, fast and slow. Fast because some kind of habit. Slow because my fuel meter is reaching it's red line. And to go to petrol station at 10.30pm is definitely not the thing I wanna do. So, I went straight to home.

During the driving moment, undeniable, my mind flew to some other places. Him. For a few reason, I didn't think much of him, but tonight? Please slap my face and tell me to go to Hell.

Once reaching home, my mind flew to my family. Been thinking of one decision. Hope this coming Monday give me a better peace of mind to decide. God bless everything. May Him ease all the hardship I'm going to through. 

And you babe, would like to hear few words from yours. I might say I don't wanna hear them, but deep inside, I'm dying. LOL-ing me please. TQ.

God bless my family and friends. And bless 'him' as well, he's the heart I'm treasuring. :)

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Jealous and trust.

It's either you get jealous or you're over it.

Just finish the last episode of Awkward in my keep. Not the final episode, but the last episode I retrieved from Ev. This time, Jenna talked about trust.

It makes me to conclude 1 thing. Trust without jealousy is bad. Jealousy itself is enough to be labelled as bad. Trust that stands by its own is bad as &E#*$#@#

Then, when you rebalance the trust and the jealousy, it creates harmony. Harmony of the relationship. Sounds sweet aite? Good to agree.

I have bad relationship because I'm freaky jealous of my own partner. But, after years, I did evolved. Being with 'him', I change the jealousy into trust. It takes me some effort but I did. Then the problem came. Evolution can never be easy if your man never support you. Trust me. So dear gentleman, please support your lady.

However, not having even 1% of jealousy is a bit something somewhere wrong in there. I see that as why-should-I-care thingy. Which means, you're over it. You don't care, and you're don't even bother to know.

Please have a good weekend dearie. I'm gonna enjoy mine without any regrets !

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Berubah?

People might told you, "Berubahlah awak". Told you once or told you twice. CHANGE, CHANGE & CHANGE.

Some people, they think changing is easy. Phewwww. Changing can be easy in some circumstances, some might be hard.

I just wish you're there helping me to change. But nahh, guess you're just too busy by your own. Might had thought, what's the point of holding on, if your love one never be there to help you to stand? Or atleast support you so the change you want to do will be easier.

Ignorance.

Frankly to say, I want to change. Deeply want. Because I want to be the best for us. But, well, 'strong' is not yet to define me. I'm still not affordable to do it by myself. So, I guess I'll just back off. Maybe that's what you want me to do. Back off.

Please take a good care of yourself. Will always love you babe..

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