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Cuba fikir elok elok

..anda rasa anda dah cukup bersyukur?..

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My Stair.

Same picture, different caption (and cropped version)

No matter what lies in front,
No matter how high the above seems
Don't stop me
I rather climb this tiresome stairs than standing behind
Watching others with empty mind, empty soul

I'll keep going on
No matter what future bring
Or what past had left me
One day, I stand high above, there
Out from this comfort zone.

Don't hold my hand and say
"Don't go, stay, it's safe here"

Btw, just get a news through FB that the Forensic Science Society of Malaysia will be hosting a 2 day workshop by the world renowned Dr. Henry Lee ( at PDRM, Cheras lecture hall. (copy paste)
27th till 28th December 2012, and the problem here is, I'm taking leave on 28th as I will be taking flight back to Kuching on the late afternoon and I have no more leave to go on 27th if I want to !
What a waste !!!!

Tapi rasanya kalau ada pun leave, I don't think my exec allow me to take leave on 27th since she's booking the date. Sigh.

Anyway, have a blessful night dearie. Sleep well please, and wake up brightly tomorrow. Smile.

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Monday, December 17, 2012

Our Stairs.







*I wish the guy in white is you. You.

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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Everything comes with a price

Tisu berterabur.

Situasi yang sama seperti 2 tahun lepas. Yang bezanya, kali ini ada seseorang di sisi. Mendengar dan turut menangis.

Dan yang bezanya lagi, tisu kali ini tak sebanyak 2 tahun lepas. 

"Everyone have their choice. It's the matter of right or wrong"

I might choose the right path coming here and live my life as I am. But I might choose the wrong one, that only God knows. But I shall know the best for me. I carved the picture of my future. Some turn into a beautiful scenery, some had become the darkness human being can ever see.

After the 2 years ago incident, I built a strong wall, guarded by millions armor and kept my heart away from any destroyer. Until someone came and broke in. And turned the broken pieces into smaller pieces, made them into finer dust.

Guess my depart from comfort zone is never been easy aite? But a strong lady should never stop standing up, a lady that would always show them, this heart broken is just a piece of cake.

"Everything comes with a price" - Once Upon A Time

Everything indeed comes with a price. So did my trust. And I trade it with my friendship. Giving others the trust is the same as you hang yourself with rope on your neck; my thought. It's the sign God still love you, still. Far from family, but He replace them with friend. A friend that once, came from nowhere, be a part of my life. And she's here the moment I need a hand to tap my back and say "I know you can do this, I know you are strong enough to stand".

And the price for love? Crap. Some people, they can take their craps to their grave instead of the white veil and couple ring on their forth finger.

Got to go. My baby girl is peeing in the dustbin instead of inside her own poo poo tray. I always forget to clean up her toilet. And my head is burning again, same as last night. Sigh.

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Sunday, December 2, 2012


Sorry in advance. Entry kali ni a bit personal. Just nak meluah sebab dah lama tahan. Dah lama tak update blog dan sejak dah jarang update blog jarang dah cerita pasal masalah unless dah malas nak tahan.

Adakala disebabkan janji, kita cuba bertahan. Tapi kalau dah acap kali janji dipijak macam padi yang dipijak pijak untuk leraikan kulit macam zaman dahulu kala, sorry ya, I am not angel-hearted untuk terus bersabar. Hati ini bukan mulia nak terus dilayan macam orang bodoh.

Long ago, I told a friend. Not really a close one, but a good friend. 

"boleh x kalau kita hidup nie biar cool?? because complicated life is actually killing and i am an easy person who live in this damn pretty world" 

The point here is, why should someone make an easy stuff to be a complicated stuff. Come on, chill chill sudah. Ini pung pang pung pang, lepas tu salahkan orang lain. I want to live a simple life and ease-mind thinking, why grab it from me??

In the end, I just make an assumption; Dia tuju untuk orang lain kot, because we never make such statements.  

Tapi lama lama, makin dibiar, makin menjadi, makin menyalahkan. Hello, what is actually your problem? Terasa sebab ktorg keluar without you? Plan hang out eventho you cant make it to come? Sepanjang aku hidup, tak pernah lagi aku letak peraturan, aku boleh jumpa Miss A or Mr B sekali sahaja dalam seminggu, later tak boleh dah jumpa. So, kalau pun aku jumpa Ms A or Mr B earlier than your arrival, bukannya ktorg tak boleh jumpa kau on another day. Kenapa nak fikir complicated cakap "Tak nak jumpa aku xpa". Who's actually making a statement of "tak nak jumpa" here??

Pfffft ~

Do you think my tweet "dah tak ada perasaan bila tengok nama, mungkin sayang dah hilang" referring to you? Do you think you're the only one in this world i intent to love?

Up gambar dengan caption "Weekend yang tak lekang dengan kasih sayang" pun sibuk nak perli kenapa? Because there's no name of yours? Then terus nak kata nak doakan je dari jauh, biarkan dorg happy. The heck?

When we ask what happen to you, sakit apa etc, you turn your back to us. Then pesan kat mak, nanti mati tak payah bagitau kat ktorg, ktorg tak nak ambil tahu. Excuse me? The one we asked tu bukan berniat nak ambil tahu? Kalau dah orang tak sudi nak bagitau, our fault ke? Dengan orang lain, boleh je bagitau sakit apa, tengah makan ubat apa, lepas tu RT showing off orang tu tweeting with caring words. Tapi salahkan ktorg pulak yang tak ambil tahu. Pandai.

And please la dont say tak nak ktorg risau sebab tu tak nak bagitau apa apa. Oh, so itu ke function bestfriend? Tak merisaukan bestfriend sendiri? Bila orang tanya "kenapa bestfriend kau?", and our answer "tak tahu", ini ke maksudnya bestfriend? I see.

Bila kita tegur in case of making up things, buat bodoh je, langsung tak layan. Is this what you called "tak nak ambil tahu"?. Jangan sebab you have lots friends who can comfort you when we're absent, you can do this to us; IGNORING. We're not toys.  

Please la, stop saying you're a bad friend but then pung pang kata tak pe, biar kawan kawan bahagia, doakan dari jauh je. Ya ya, I know, lepas ni you'll surely up any tweet or post or status saying you're crying because of friend blablabla. And keep saying as if you're the only victim here, saying we're the one yang dah tak nak kawan.

Damn tau tak with all the attention seeking.

Jangan ingat with all the promises years ago, manusia boleh bersabar sampai mati. You expect us to understand but you yourself never share things that can make us to undestand. Selfish tau tak, keep blaming others.

Suka sangat kan buat statement seolah olah ktorg ni yang jahat, sekarang memang betul betul aku nak jadi jahat. Im giving you what you want. Meninggalkan kawan yang dalam susah. 

Susah ke?

Lastly, nak terasa dengan entri ni? Silakan. Nak mengadu dengan kawan baik yang lain? Silakan. Nak teruskan salah faham? Silakan. Nak berbaik? Ikut suka awak la. Dah penat.

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